September 12, 1997 was the day I married. The day was sunny, hot, and wonderful! Family, friends, and some acquaintances came to share in our special day. I was not a christian when I married, and quite frankly didn’t want to be! We partied and drank with everyone until late into the night. Now, fast forward about 1.5 years…
Our life style was one of complete selfish means! We did what we wanted, and no concern for what God wanted. Then it happened… God started dealing with me! My spirit started speaking to me, and showing me that my/our life style was WRONG! We smoked (right & left handed), drank, did drugs, and lived our life as the world lives. As God started dealing with me, I started talking with my husband about quitting all drugs, but he didn’t think he had a problem. I would literally straddle him and ask him to promise me he would quit. So finely after a few months I told him, “I’ll make it easy on you, you don’t have to promise me anything! If you do any more drugs, you can’t come back inside this house”! That was the beginning of my marital problems.
Driving down the road, I started to pray, and ask God to forgive me, and to help me have a love for my husband that I’d never experienced before, and if this was the marriage HE wanted me in to take away the thoughts of divorce.To help me forgive my dad (that’s another story!) That day I surrendered my heart to my Lord and Savior! My life has not been the same!
After that day, my life was so completely changed that I am still amazed at what God has done for me! I’m still so grateful for all HE has brought me through. The first thing that God delivered me from was drugs. You see, I was an intravenous drug user and I had been in it for several years. If I didn’t have drugs to put in a needle, I would try alcohol. But God took the desire for this away. He put a desire for HIM in my heart! The next thing that God delivered me from was cigarettes, (I smoked for 23 yrs), then pot, then bars, and my life has forever been the changed!!
Now, after God delivered me from the drugs; I started wanting to go to church! I would ask my husband on Sunday morning, “do you want to go to church?” His reply most of the time was, “yes!” I started visiting all the churches in our area. Each Sunday I would visit a church. (I did miss some Sundays.) One Sunday morning in particular my husband didn’t want to go, but I was not going to let that stop me! He asked where I was going, and there was only one church was left that I had not gone to yet. So that was the one I told him I was going to. I had to drive by a church that I’d already visited (First Baptist Church), but didn’t feel that God called me to it when I visited the first time. But the strangest thing happened when I had to go by FBC to visit the one church left. It was like a magnet pulling me to that church. Well, I was so determined to go to the one that I hadn’t been to, 1 because I told my husband that was where I was going, and 2 because I was still learning how the Holy Spirit worked! I drove right by it!
The next Sunday I went to First Baptist Church! I still go to FBC, and I know this is wear God wants me! I teach Sunday school, 1st, 2nd, & 3rd grade; I work with my husband on Wednesday nights with 4th, & 5th graders. I coordinate the nursery, I serve in the baptistery committee, missions committee, c0-chair hospitality committee with my husband, and I’m the custodian. It’s not until I put it all down, that I realize what I’m doing! I had to laugh when I re-read it; I need to quit something!
I’m still learning how to be a godly wife. My hearts desire is to be all that God can be through me. To learn His way, to honor God, and my husband. My favorite verse is Psalm 51:10 “Create within me a new heart; Oh, God, and renew within me a steadfast spirit.” I read a blog today from “The Peaceful Wife” I have to say that I needed it. I want to be the kind of wife that my husband can look at and know that I love, honor, and respect him! I want him to “know” these things without a doubt.
I’ve never blogged before, so bare with me as I try to keep my thoughts and feelings in order.
Remember that it doesn’t matter what you have done, God is a forgiving God, and He wants you as a part of His family. All you have to do is A-admit, B-believe, and C-confess. A-admit you are a sinner, B-believe that Jesus is God’s son, and C-confess Him (Jesus) as your Savior and Lord. Only God can forgive your sins! Only God can bring you out of whatever you’re going through. He is waiting for you to approach Him, and call out to Him for help, healing, and forgiveness!